The Poisoned Chalice of the England Goalkeeping Position

If MTV are in need of a new reality TV series, they should give serious consideration to England’s search for a goalkeeper. Their hunt since David Seaman’s retirement has been a comedic yet despairingly dramatic affair. More than ten different goalkeepers have come and gone, all playing pertinent roles in what has been a hilariously breath-taking series of events. Continue reading “The Poisoned Chalice of the England Goalkeeping Position”

Why yer Da is wrong about Granit Xhaka

Has anyone ever recommended a film to you, billing it as the funniest movie they’ve ever seen, acclaimed it an absolute must-see and dubbed it film of the year? That’s what signing for Arsenal is like. No matter how good the film actually is, it can only ever fail to live up to expectation. The Gooner fan base are a relentless propaganda machine that’d make even Joseph Goebbels green with envy. Granit Xhaka arrived from Borussia Monchengladbach last summer and became an immediate victim of his own success. As if Champions League experience, a wealth of international caps and an emphatic endorsement from his previous manager wasn’t enough, Arsenal fans began to clutch to just about anything to convince rivals they’d unearthed the new Vieira. The scrutiny on Arsenal’s shortcomings every May means new signings are faced with the burden of turning the Gunners into immediate title contenders from the moment they unbuckle their seat-belts in Heathrow. The expectation created by Arsenal fans makes signing for the Gunners harder than signing for anyone else in England. Continue reading “Why yer Da is wrong about Granit Xhaka”

José Mourinho’s summer shopping list

Every year, summer’s arrival can be pinpointed by a series of natural occurrences. Birds migrate north, the Arctic Circle enjoys 24 hours of light and the tabloids link Man United to every footballer under the sun. Ed Woodward’s fondness for adding zero’s to a cheque, reminiscent of a fourth grader adding x’s to a Valentines card has forced Fred the Red into overtime, welcoming a plethora of talented (and untalented) new signings through the Old Trafford gates. Jose Mourinho must use the summer transfer window to turn last season’s 6th placers into worthy title contenders. This article outlines what the Portuguese manager needs to do to ensure he’s making the back pages for all the right reasons come May 2018.  Continue reading “José Mourinho’s summer shopping list”